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What got donated to the Monroe Goodwill store
March 16, 2017
This report first appeared March 15 in the Chronicle's Breaking News section
What was in the cooler. Photos: Monroe Police. CLICK TO ENLARGE
(MONROE, WA.) -- It just goes to show you, even dope heads want to help out their local community now and then.
Or perhaps in this case, a doper got a little too high one day and accidentally got rid of a precious possession and now is a sad, sad boy.
Or perhaps the doper got into a big argument with his or her SO (significant other) and the SO gets so steamed that he or she gets rid of the doper's expensive and cherished stuff just to be mean right before leaving town.
Hey, it could happen. Probably has somewhere.
Or perhaps a nice middle class parent in a nice neighborhood in Monroe got a bunch of stuff together one day to donate to the Goodwill and didn't know teenage Johnny was in business for himself and had some fine product in that box ready to go to market
It's hard to say about these things. But the caper is this, according to a brief tweet the other day by Monroe Police:
"This cooler was donated over the weekend to the Goodwill. Employees surprised when they opened the lid. Police were called... "
What was in dee box
You can see what was in the cooler in the pictures at upper right. That's right, it's Loco Weed kids. A big humping load of loco weed.
Somebody, possibly out of the goodness of their hearts, donated their weed to the Goodwill perhaps for the employees to enjoy over the weekend. Now is that a nice gesture, or what?
There are people that will give away their dogs and first wives before they give away their weed.
So what's the scoop on this caper? KCPQ-TV says, according to the gendarmes, that cooler held 3.75 pounds of dope with an estimated street value of $24,000.
Holy moly moldy guacamole.
Doper boy (or girl) gotta be one sad little person about now if that cooler was donated by mistake -- especially if that sad person got that dope on credit from Guido and now owes Guido and the boys the 24-large.
That kind of thing can get really ugly very fast.
The report says Goodwill "was examining its surveillance video" (uh-oh) to see if it can find an image of the person who may have dropped off the cooler. Could be time for somebody to leave town for a while.
Crime no pay
Let this be a lesson kids. Crime does not pay.
You keep on doing criminal stuff and eventually you'll end up in some awful, stinky prison in a cell with a 250-pound weight-lifting lifer named Animal who has designs on you being his next prison wife.
And you know what that means pal.